Ru Az
Editor's diary

Let yourself go!

"The old rule about how a thing of beauty is a joy forever, in my experience, even the most beauteous thing is only a joy for about three hours, tops. After that, she'll want to tell you all about her childhood traumas..."

Chuck Palahniuk

The damage caused by emotional trauma is sometimes much more serious than from physical, it affects both deeper and more painful. In the end, physical sores can be cured, it's just a matter of time. But it is much more difficult to cope with a damaged mental state! Emotional violence can be no less devastating than physical violence, and sometimes its consequences are simply irreparable. Sometimes, in order to silence heartache, people deliberately hurt themselves physically. Often teenagers, and adults, cut their wrists, not so deep, to at least somehow distract themselves from heartache. Unfortunately, this does not work in the opposite direction – I do not imagine a woman who would easily cope with the pain of natural childbirth, reading a letter from her beloved about the fact that he didn't love anymore her and broke up with her.
I noticed that people react more acute to someone else's physical pain than to emotional pain. If someone falls or gets into the car accident in front of us – we shudder, shout, rush to him to check if he is all right. And when in our presence some stranger is bullied, insulted or humiliated, we rarely react to this..
Yes, sadly enough, mental pain often has to be dealt with alone. But what you can't do is keep the pain closed inside you. If you keep a lot of cockroaches in one box, they will stay there for a long time, but still get out as soon as you open the box. Same is with our feelings locked in the soul: they can stay locked up for a long time, and new problems will be layered on top, which will be difficult for us to cope with, because the soul will crack, even if we won't admit it to ourselves. It might last for years, but sooner or later, when we can no longer hold hidden emotions, it will explode like a volcano! And many different problems, big and small, will break out – everything that has accumulated during this time. Emotions can accumulate for years, decades, but the earlier we admit to ourselves that they exist, and start healing our soul, the more likely we are to be left without scars on it, invisible, but very insidious. Most think that by making an effort, you can control your emotions. In order to bring down a wave of feelings, people try to distract themselves with something, somehow boost their mood. If it were so easy to feel happy: switch on "happiness" with one click – and done! Then therapists would have no jobs.
Or you can just hide it, "play to a crowd" when you feel bad... But why? Maybe you just need to accept all your problems and experiences as they are? Accept the truth about yourself as it is. After all, the truth is still stronger. This is also a kind of therapy.
We are not weak when we cry, and not bad when we are angry. We're all human, all we have to do is learn to accept it. Let yourself go, accept your weakness...

Ulviyya Makhmudova,